An Open Letter to the Brokenhearted

Biblical encouragement for Christian men walking through heartbreak, grief, and loss.

Dear hurting brother,

I know you’re hurting—and I’m so sorry.
It sucks.

Maybe you feel that gut-wrenching pain sitting heavy in your stomach.

A haze hanging over your head.
Nothing else seems to matter.
Nothing seems to make it better.

You don’t want to eat.
You may not even want to get out of bed.

There’s that longing ache.
The one that gnaws at your heart, moment after moment.

You see her friends around town, and it reminds you of everything you’ve lost.

Someone mentions the restaurant where you shared special moments together.
Your heart twinges with pain, and suddenly you’re spiraling.

The Enemy wants to keep you there.
Stuck in the spiral.
Dwelling on the “good old days.”

Thoughts race constantly through your mind:

Is she already moved on?
Is she happier without you?
Is someone else making her happy now?
Are your best days behind you?
How could you ever find someone as great as her?

Rejection hurts worse than being stabbed in the heart, doesn’t it?

Honestly, it’s like being stabbed—but the pain and the bleeding never seem to stop.

Want to know one reason you’re still feeling this so deeply?

The Enemy is trying to keep you down.

Those thoughts that come out of nowhere?
That’s him trying to derail you.
Trying to keep you in the past.
Trying to pull your focus away from the hope God still has for your future.

He wants you to feel like you’re stuck in a tunnel.

Looking backward, all you can see is the dim light of what once was.
Looking forward, instead of possibility, you only see the one who’s no longer there.

He wants you to lose hope.

And sometimes, all it takes is one moment.
One memory.
One foothold.

What used to bring joy now only brings sadness.

Let’s call it what it is.

Grief sucks.

It means you lost something that mattered deeply to you.

And your grief isn’t wrong.
It’s good.
It’s necessary.

You have to step fully into it.

Don’t dismiss it.
Don’t stuff it.
Feel all of it.

But hear this clearly:
God does not want you to stay there.

Your feelings are real—but they are fickle.
They don’t always tell you the truth.

Preach to Your Own Heart: Finding Biblical Hope in Heartbreak

So you must become a preacher.

Not vocationally.
Just for one person.

For you.

Your most important congregant is your own heart.

Your heart needs constant reminders of who is in control.
Of who is working all things together for your good.

You must first know the promises of God.
Then you must preach those promises to yourself—again and again.

Over time, you won’t just know the promises.
You’ll know the Promise Keeper.

I can’t guarantee you’ll see the promise fulfilled quickly.
But it will be fulfilled.

I can’t guarantee it will look exactly how you want it to look.
But I can promise it will be better than you can ask, imagine, or hope.

Because Jesus really is that good.

And I know these words may not land right now.

But over time, your heart will mend.

Especially when you run to Jesus—over and over and over again.

When you surrender everything to Him, He will give you the strength you need.

Not for the rest of your life.
Not for the whole year.

Just for this moment.
This hour.
This day.

Your daily bread.

I know you want the pain to end.
I want that for you too.

And it will.

But there is something this pain can teach you—if you let it.

It can teach you that Jesus is enough.

And until He is enough for you, nothing else will be.

This pain can also teach you how to experience gratitude and joy even in the hardest seasons.

You can lose a lot in this world.
But you cannot lose Jesus or His presence.

One reason you’re walking through this hurt is because Jesus is drawing you closer to Himself.

He wants to show you the truth of His promise—that He draws near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

This isn’t a one-time fix.

It’s moment by moment.
Hour by hour.
Day by day.

He’s teaching you to depend on Him in all things.

He’s also gently revealing where you may have depended too much on her to meet needs only He can fulfill.

So what do you do next?

Practically, start here:
Begin giving thanks.

Be thankful for everything.

The air you breathe.
The roof over your head.
The car that gets you from place A to place B.
The body He’s given you.
The people who still love you.
The technology you’re using to read this right now.
The fact that you found these words in this moment.

That’s not accidental.

That’s Him—looking out for you.

And if you start paying attention, you’ll begin to notice His fingerprints everywhere.

That song.
That text.
That billboard.

Not coincidence.

He really is that sovereign.
And He really is that good.

If He ensures the sparrow lacks nothing, He will take care of you too.

Rest in that.

Rest in what He has already done for you.

And rest with expectancy for what He will still do in your future—because He is working all things together for your good.

If you don’t want to walk this alone, I’m here.

You can reach out to me through this website. I work with Christian men walking through heartbreak, loss, and seasons of rebuilding—men who want to heal honestly and learn how to find strength, identity, and hope in Christ again.

You’re not beyond redemption.

And this is not the end of your story.

Because He’s that good.